How One Salesman’s Girlfriend Taught Him How to Find Prospects

I love my girlfriend.

She can be a pain in the ass sometimes (she’ll probably never read this) but most of the time she makes my life better.

Recently she shouted at me and of course being a man I took those emotions, crushed them into a little ball and shoved them so far down to into the back of my mind that they’re thoroughly repressed for me not have been phased.

I did manage to learn an important sales lesson from the conflict though.


Shared Memories

I’m constantly losing things around the house and most of the time my girlfriend knows where they are. Science nerds called this phenomenon shared memory and it happens when two people spend a lot of time together.

Until recently I got into the habit of asking her where the thing was before I even looked for it. This is why shared memories exist – if she knows where the item is then I shouldn’t waste brain power trying to find it. I might need that brain power to fend of animals that are coming to eat our babies.

This led her to explode when I asked her where my car keys where after already making us late for an appointment.

“You need to find your car keys, not me! They don’t know you exist. They don’t care that you exist. It’s your job to grab them, look after them and not let them go!” she scolded at me.

She ended up pointing me in the right direction (they were in my coat pocket) but not before a light bulb switched on in my head.


You Don’t Yet Exist

The same things can be said about prospecting in sales. You literally do not exist to your prospects before you introduce yourself.

They don’t care if you’re alive or not until they know you exist.

Once they know you’re on this planet, you can offer them value and if they want to work with you, it’s your job (not a CRM, your boss or colleague’s) job to keep them close.

As soon as you delegate the responsibility of prospecting to someone else you’re losing all the power and giving them an opportunity to screw you in the future.

Do you really spend enough time popping into existence to potential new customers each week?

I’m making it my number one priority moving forward.



Staff writer/video producer at Salesman.Red. When I'm not hustling video content together I'm jumping out of planes and sailing my laser in the Lake District.

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